No Taste
by Lucy Kay
Summary: Who doesn't love a good, hypocritical, sisterly spat? Mostly one-sided because Luna can run her mouth much more than Candace. Accidental parody of Harvest Moon relationships. Light-hearted and humorous. Animal Parade. Rated K Plus because I feel it's safe for most anyone. One-shot. Picture is not mine.


I do not own _Harvest Moon: Animal Parade_ nor hold association or third party rights with any of its affiliates. No copyright infringement intended.

Another request for usuihentai727!

This is a one-shot of Luna and Candace having a bit of a sisterly spat, and it kind of turned into a parody of Harvest Moon. xD

Sorry this took so long… I hope you like it! =)

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"Honestly, Candace, you have the worst taste in guys."

Candace looked at the knitting in her lap with a deep crimson tint in her face, contrasting cruelly with her baby blue braids. She muttered to herself so her sister couldn't understand her.

"I mean," Luna crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. "Come on, we've got a huge selection here. It's like these guys were specially created in a perfect variety for every fetish known to womankind! And you pick the metro?"

"He's not…!" An exclamation from Candace was about as rare as a jackalope, so Luna sat up to hear it. The elder and more reclusive of the two sat back within herself as the denial died on her tongue and returned to her knitting without another sound, her face the color of the maroon scarf being assembled by her furious needles.

Luna rolled her eyes. "You really can't argue. Julius is the most… _flamboyant_ man I've ever met. Most of the eligible ladies have a hard time deciding if he's even a male. Especially that farmer. What's her name? It keeps switching nationalities; I can never keep track."

More than a little tired of hearing her sister bash her fiancé, Candace mumbled: "You don't have much taste yourself…"

"What was that?" Luna asked, her pink pigtails perked like animal ears. "What did you say?"

Candace cleared her throat and said in a slightly louder decibel: "Gill. You were telling me I had bad taste."

"And?"

She raised her eyebrows, lifting her eyes to her little sister for the first time. "Gill. Bad taste."

Luna jumped from her seat. "You take that back!"

Candace shook her head, slightly intimidated she had struck a nerve. But the support for her purple-haired husband-to-be gave her some confidence. Or cheekiness – either would do against Luna. "I'm sorry, Luna, but no. You chose the rudest man on the island."

"He's not rude!" Luna stomped her foot indignantly. "He's a professional and he doesn't have time for commoners."

"What's all this shouting? Girls?" Shelly poked her head into the small bedroom. The old woman looked back and forth between her two grand-daughters suspiciously but with kind eyes. "Luna, are you bothering Candace again?"

"What?" Luna crossed her arms. "Why are you taking her side? You don't even know what we were talking about!"

"I heard enough." Shelly shrugged, removing her glasses and rubbing circles in the lens with her shirt. "Now you leave your sister to her work, Luna, and stop pestering her about her fiancé. Julius is a very kind man. You would do well to listen to Candace – she's the one getting married after all!"

"Grandma!" Luna whined.

"I told her Gill was a bad choice." Candace spoke up for the first time from her little spot in the corner.

"Of course he is!" Shelly nodded in agreement.

"But Grandma!" Luna persisted. "I give him tomato juice every day!"

"You think juice is the foundation of a relationship? What's the matter with you, child?" Shelly asked.

"But, but – he always appreciates my gifts! And I visit and talk with him every day. At least Gill has an agenda to talk about. What does Julius ever say?" She goaded her sister. "How hard it is that his skirt doesn't match his eyes?"

"No, but I'm sure Gill could use a talk with Julius – everyone knows a man shouldn't be running around in knickerbockers." Candace surprised them all with her quick retaliation.

There was a long, frustrating pause. Shelly eventually clapped her hands and laughed. "Well, there you have it! Now, get to work, Luna. Where is your crochet hook? I need four more blankets."

Luna blew the bangs from her forehead and threw herself across her bed. "But, Grandma! I refuse to follow the path of every other female on this island and be a domesticated, stereotypical nineteen fifties house wife. I won't sew!"

Shelly put her hands on her hips. "Now don't be silly. What about Phoebe? She's a picture of feminism!"

"She's not standing up for women's rights – she's joined the other side!" Luna grumbled into her comforter. "Besides, Gill says women can be so much more than seamstresses and cooks. _He_ doesn't agree with the gender roles implanted in our society."

"As he receives your daily gift of homemade tomato juice, yes, yes, we all know. Now if you insist you won't sew, you might as well hit the registry and straighten out our budget like the smart young lady you are." Shelly gave a nod and left the room.

Luna looked up at her sister. "I hope you're happy, Candace. You're the perfect picture of an oppressed woman!"

"Mmhm." Candace nodded, half-listening as she corrected a stitch.

"At least I've a higher purpose. I am a mathematician! A scholar! My sex does not determine my lifestyle! I have a taste for a higher breed of the human race! I reach for a brighter—"

Cut off mid-monologue as she stood atop her bed, Luna stopped when Shelly called from the front: "Luna! Hurry up, will you? This menial secretarial work won't do itself!"

Sighing in defeat, Luna leapt from the bed and walked briskly for the door. Turning once she smiled at her happy sister in the corner before saying: "You still have no taste."

Candace clinked away with her needles in silence, satisfied she had won this round.


End file.
